Entitled grandmother reaches out to daughter after being estranged for 20 years to meet newborn: 'She suddenly wants to play grandma? I was so angry!'

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Ben Weiss • Writer and Editor
Mar 19, 2025 4:00 PM EDT

Everyone says that becoming a parent makes you gain a newfound appreciation for your own parents; that is, unless your parent was the prime example of what not to do.

Now, baby fever can be all-consuming for a soon-to-be parent or for someone who wants to start thinking about having kids. However, it comes back again when you long to become a grandparent. We see this all the time when older parents apply pressure to their adult kids, demanding for grandchildren at some point in the not-so-distant future. But what happens when you've been estranged from your parents for several years (in this case, decades) and they start coming out of the woodwork wanting grandchildren? 

Keep scrolling below for this tale of a new mom and her estranged parent.

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  • 01
    Cheezburger Image 10482127616
    via Hollie Santos

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • This lady essentially up and left her daughter two decades ago, and now, she has managed to emerge out of nowhere now that she heard that her. daughter was a new mom. Talk about an emotional whirlwind for the author, who had made peace with the fact that she would have zero communication with her mother for the rest of her life. Now, all those memories and feelings are coming back, coupled with the fact that she's experiencing all the emotions that come with being a new mom on top of everything else. Here's her account of what went down! 

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    "AITA for Refusing to Let My Estranged Mother Meet My Child After She Abandoned Me 20 Years Ago?"

    I'm (29F) really struggling with this, and I honestly don't know if I'm being too harsh. When I was 9 years old, my mom just up and left. No warning, no explanations
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    -one day she was there, and the next, she was gone. It completely shattered me. My dad did his best to pick up the pieces and raise me on his own, and we've been super close ever since.
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    For years, I didn't hear a word from her. I tried reaching out as a teenager, desperate for answers, but she never responded. After a while, I just stopped trying. I
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    figured she didn't want anything to do with me, and I tried to move on. Now, fast forward to the present -I'm married and just had my
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    first baby, a little girl. It's been amazing and overwhelming, and I'm really trying to be the best mom I can be. But then, out of nowhere, I get a letter from my mother. She somehow found out
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    I had a baby and is now asking to meet her. In the letter, she apologized for leaving all those years ago, said she had "personal reasons" (which she didn't bother
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    to explain), and claimed she's changed. Now, she wants to be a part of my life again—especially since I have a child. I was completely floored. After 20 years of silence, she suddenly
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    wants to play grandma? I was so angry I ripped up the letter and tossed it in the trash. When my husband found out, he said maybe I should at least hear her out, that people can change, and
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    maybe it would be good for our daughter to know her grandmother. But I just can't see how I can trust someone who abandoned me like that, and I really don't want her around my daughter.
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    Cheezburger Image 10482128384
    via Unsplash+ (Daiga Ellaby)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    Since then, she's been trying to contact me more-sending more letters, emails, and even showing up at our house once. I've refused to talk to her and made it clear she's not welcome in our lives.
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    But now, my husband and even some of my family are saying I'm being too harsh. They think I should give her a chance, that it's not just about me, but also about what might be best for my daughter.
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    I feel so torn. Part of me is still that hurt little girl who was left behind, and I don't want anything to do with her. But another part of me wonders if I'm letting my anger get in the way of what might be right for my daughter.
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    Maybe they're right, and I'm just being too stubborn. So, AITA for refusing to let my estranged mother meet my child after she abandoned me 20 years ago? Should I let her back in, or am I justified in keeping her out of our lives?
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    Kragg_hack 3h ago Nope, you don't need to let her into your life unless you want to. Tell her that action have consequences, and she could choose to abandon you. She
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    claims she had reasons, but I doubt they could would heal your wounds. Now, if you want to hear her reasons, ask her to write them down. But in no way do you need to bring more pain into your life.
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    INFP4life • 3h ago . NTA and your husband needs to remove his head from his and take your side. If having a daughter of his own has made his less sympathetic to your position rather than more so, that is a serious problem in itself.
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    Quiet-Hamster6509 3h ago She's in contact with your husband behind your back. NTA this isn't his choice or anyone else's. Don't be afraid the threaten to cut others off if they persist.
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    Onlyheretostare • 3h ago Abandons her family then after 20 years doesn't even have the decency to explain her self. I would make it clear to anyone
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    trying to pressure me to make contact with that woman to back off immediately. NTA, your husband should have your back on this.
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    BigEasyh •3h ago NTA, have a discussion with your husband about if he even loves you. Obviously you already know the right answer when dealing with your "mom" but what I find more concerning is your Husband's blatant disrespect for you and your experience
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family drama aita AITAH grandma family feud parenting entitled people karma family Parenting Fail karen entitled people Parenting FAILS
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